A while back I had an e-mail from an American fan of the British fetish press who reckoned it was about time we Brits stopped using the word ‘perv’ to describe ourselves (and by implication, the fetish community at large). He thought it was both dated and derogatory, and suggested a number of substitute terms he believed were more modern, accurate and dignified.
One of his recommendations to replace ‘pervs’ was ‘lifestylers’. This suggests to me that he didn’t quite understand what it is about the term ‘perv’ that has made its use within the fetish culture both popular and enduring. Or why it is never going to be replaced by a word like ‘lifestyler’.
You can be sure that fetish journalists wouldn’t be using the term ‘perv’ as much as they do if there were a decent selection of other words to use instead/as well. Unfortunately though, fetish subculture isn’t generously blessed with useful dedicated vocabulary. Twenty years ago, in the early days of the London scene, the word ‘fetish’ itself was one of the first to be repurposed within the scene, as an easy, general description of the entire subculture that had less scary connotations for the outside world than other terms like ‘S&M’ or ‘sadomasochism’. As a term used to describe our clubs, fashion, shops, music, etc, ‘fetish’ stuck because it had the right resonance.
For the first time, it was cool to describe yourself as a ‘fetishist’, because it now implied that you were part of an exciting new underground subculture, rather than that you stole women’s underwear off washing lines and wore it over your head. When members of this emerging scene began referring to themselves as ‘perverts’ or ‘pervs’, it was a similar application of strategic linguistics. What they were doing was re-appropriating and rehabilitating previously derogatory terms that had been used against us by those who disliked us, just as the words ‘faggot’ and ‘queer’ were rehabilitated by the gay community as a celebration rather than a condemnation of their sexuality.
Once rehabilitated, such words become terms of identification, empathy and endearment used by the community itself and its friends and sympathisers. But they only stick if they sound right. The word ‘perv’ has just the right balance of pride, affection and self-effacing honesty. But it also retains a little edginess because, unfortunately, ‘pervert’ is often used by the public and the tabloid press to mean something very different. And that’s undoubtedly what drives some of us to look for other ways to describe ourselves. But please let’s not hide behind anodyne weasel-words like ‘lifestyler’ — a clumsy euphemism which has none of the linguistic power of ‘perv’ and which also means something completely different (‘swinger’) to many of us anyway.
I’m not saying I wouldn’t like to see more user-friendly fetish terms enter our deviant dictionary. As it is, I claim some responsibility for rehabilitating the terms ‘kink’, ‘kinky’ and ‘kinkster’ into contemporary fetish journalism. I have even been known to use the terms ‘SMer’ and ‘BDSMer’ on occasions, especially when describing the more politicised practitioners of pervery. And ‘pervery’ is another word I think I may have helped on its way into common parlance. So I can’t be accused of not trying.
As someone who has to write about this stuff, my need is as great as anybody’s. So here’s a challenge: let me have some new words that can be substituted for ‘perv’ and ‘pervery’ — preferably words of equal verve and, er, ververy. Or if you have a handle on a neat epithet that you think could usefully extend our current kink vocabulary in any area, please let me know about it. It could be some made-up term you use privately with a partner, or something adapted/stolen from another subculture, or something that just seems to have come into your head out of the ether, as new words sometimes do.
I firmly believe that the best words to describe ourselves, especially to the outside world, all have this in common: they are not too serious. There is a certain lightness about them that is affectionate and non-threatening. They are playful — evidence that we can send ourselves up. And when it comes to promoting acceptability of fetish culture, there’s a lot to be said for describing ourselves in a way that makes people smile rather than grimace.
And for anyone who does come up with usable new terms, there can be no better reward than to see them enter into common pervy parlance, as they surely will if they’re any good. Get your thinking caps on!
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